25 things you don’t know about….

7 Nov

As the cherry on top of my long ass day, (highlighted by me stomping my Ugg in fresh dog shit courtesy of Oliver, my parents’ favorite child) I received a letter in the mail telling me that my subscription to US Weekly has expired. The only reason I even went to the mailbox was for the damn issue so I could put my feet up and watch the season premiere of Top Chef and just VEG for an hour. Alas, it’s not in the cards.

Since I now can not discover 25 things I didn’t know about Melissa Joan Hart or Carrot Top or whatever, I’ve decided to divulge 25 things you didn’t know about ME!!!!!

1. I wrote a picture book called “The Squashes Cross the Country” about a family of squashes who take a road trip and do clumsy things at various roadside attractions.

2. I started listening to country music because of a guy named Aaron Hoffman in college, who I believe is a preacher’s child but I could be wrong. I keep meaning to find out his address so I can send him a thank you note.

3. I have gotten fired by my dad like 100 times.

4. I’ve quit like 105 times.

5. I’m a really really really fast typer.

6. My favorite TV shows that only lasted one season were My So Called Life and Wonderfalls. You’ve never heard of Wonderfalls but you should watch it on Netflix.

7. I thought I broke my pinky playing tetherball at camp and “set it” with a lollipop stick and two bandaids.

8. I can sing Rent, Annie Get Your Gun, Thoroughly Modern Millie and Les Mis (and like maybe ten or twenty more shows) in their entirety, and I often do.

9. On a high school trip to England I made people sneak out to go to a club and one of the girls on the trip met her future husband with whom she has like I think a couple kids. The vodka cranberries had no ice in them, it was nasty.

10. I played soccer and only got into the all-star game one time because I sucked, but one year I got to do the line flag and wear a referee shirt.

11. When I was a camp counselor I wrote “REDRUM” on the mirrors and almost got fired.

12. I throw up pretty much every time I drink, but usually not til the next morning.

13. I use a record player. My favorite album is Getz/Gilberto. I can listen to the song Corcovado a million times in a row. Bossa Nova sets the best mood.

14. I have been going to the movies by myself since I was really young. I went to the artsy theater because they had muffins and tea instead of candy and soda. I saw anything Parker Posey was in.

15. I used the word cunt in a short story in college and it made my mom cry. I justified it by telling her it that I was referring to a body part. Perhaps one day I’ll post the piece, it was pretty great.

16. My favorite parts about marrying out of my religion are the Christmas tree and the lack of arguments about who’s family we’re going to.

17. I once hitched a ride to Boston for the weekend with nothing to do, no place to stay and no jacket. I bought a North Face fleece.

18. I’m a lefty but not the kind who notices other lefties.

19. I once made pancakes out of powdered baby formula for Charlie’s birthday, which also happens to be my daughter’s birthday.

20. My calves are very muscular from playing sports and I hate them but I get a lot of compliments which is really confusing.

21. I can play the viola, the piano and 3 chords on the guitar.

22. I needed help writing this list so I asked two good friends for ideas. One of them said the pancake thing, the other said I have really good hair but that seemed vain.

23. I crack myself up while I’m writing. I LOL.

24. I’m a really good kayaker.

25. My favorite place in the world is Verona, Italy. Because I like love love.

Don’t you feel so much better now that you know this stuff?



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