pop-up redux: the shelbytown supper club strikes again….

24 Jun

Aaah the lovely days of summer! Nothing like slowing’ it all down for some relaxation. Unless you’re me. I personally am really not one for a stress free calendar. It gives me hives and makes me want to drown myself in xanax and spider solitaire. My productivity levels sort of equate to how I play tennis – If I play someone who’s competitive and skilled to the gills, I hit the ball so hard and so precise that you’d think I’m some sort of phenom (I am). But if I play a suckhead who lobs the balls and can’t serve for shit, then I, too, lob the ball and serve like shit. Same thing with work. If I’ve got a to-do list that’s as long as a roll of toilet paper and only 3 days to do it, I’m a machine and will get it done with nearly seven minutes to spare. However, if I have two things to do whenever and not much else planned, I will piss around for weeks without accomplishing those two bullets, no matter how simple (google “drink recipes involving marshmallow flavored vodka” and make photocopies of the takeout menus). These days it seems like my work week consists of a whole lot of pouring glasses of water for myself, misplacing them, pouring more, misplacing those, complaining about the random glasses scattered about the restaurant and polishing the beer tower on a daily basis. I need some fucking stress to liven up my mood! And I’m not talking about your run of the mill medium-high blood pressure stress. I am talking about insanely pressurized, mostly self-induced, horrible, irritating run-for-the-border AFFLICTION.

In other words, it’s time to start planning a pop-up!!! I’ve been floating some ideas around, mostly based on the slogan I’ll write on the t-shirt. Here are some contenders. Let me know if you’d like to attend one of them and I’ll set a date straight away! Please keep in mind that, like Hashbrown Harry’s, which actually did take place, this popup will be a real thing.

  • Habanero Harry’s – A Mexican inspired pop-up, of course. Menu entirely consisting of traditional Latin ingredients, but concocted in a way that will confuse and delight your taste buds! Each course will consist of a different pepper and a different tequila. A mariachi band, and possibly a donkey, will provide the entertainment. Servers will wear oversize sombreros, take a siesta between courses and offer you 175 different types of hot sauce to enhance your already delicious meal. The t-shirt will say…
  • Hamburger Harry’s – Do I really need to explain this concept to you? If I do, then you are not intelligent enough to be reading my blog and I hate you. How did you even find this? Do you even know how to read? You’re so stupid I don’t know why they sold you a smartphone. Anyway, every course will be paired with a different type of french fry and a spiked version of a traditional soda fountain drink. The bread will be baked by my daddy-o, who will have a temper tantrum halfway through the process when the dough doesn’t rise and he will through it across the room and buy rolls from a local deli and I’ll get like totally mad at him. The servers will wear roller skates and the entertainment will be that we will set up an obstacle course for them to get through before they can bring the food to the table. Also there will be a barbershop quartet singing Coldplay and Phish covers. There will be a toppings bar that is identical to that of Roy Rogers and the t-shirts will say…

 

  • Challah Harry’s – 8 Crazy Courses of recipes adapted from my Grandma Helen and Nana Carol. My mom will be there to make you feel guilty if you don’t eat everything on your plate, and the servers will wear variations of my Bat Mitzvah dress. Entertainment will have to be BYO because what do I look like? Do I look like I’m made of money? Does this look like a circus to you? We will have a fiddler playing the horah for all who are interested. However he’ll (obv) be on the roof so I don’t know if it’s necessarily wheelchair accessible. Drinks will all be concocted with Manischevitz. Ew. T-shirts will say…

 

  • Haunted Harry’s – Possibly more appropriate for Halloweentime, but I perhaps I’ll throw people for a loop and do it in the summertime. Food will be served in the complete dark. It will all resemble human body parts (although probably very little will be made with actual human, because it’s really expensive and I want to keep the cost down). Drinks will mostly be made of absinthe and cough syrup. Entertainment will be people whispering threatening things in your ears and grazing their fingers across the back of your neck. Also we will play “Is there anybody out there” from The Wall because, as many of my readers are already aware of, that is the most terrifying song in the history of the world. Servers will wear Jason masks and carry chainsaws. The t-shirts will say….

 


  • Hibachi Harry’s – This will be a classic Asian meal featuring traditional Benihanan cuisine, except it will be a fusion of American food thrown in, so instead of regular wontons, maybe there will be bacon cheeseburger wontons. And instead of fried rice there will be fried Rice Krispies. Stuff like that. Charlie will make a surprise appearance and be serving this over the top Asian Adventure. He will wear a kimono and bang a gong between every course. Entertainment will be in the form of happy ending massages. The t-shirt will say….

Obviously all of these popups will come to fruition, I tend to not fuck around when it comes to creating a restaurant inside another restaurant for one night only. If you truly prefer one to the other (I think we’re all on the same page that the happy ending one is pretty appealing…) leave a comment and let me know. Or  you can also let me know if you’re inspired with your own idea and/or location and would like to popup a Shelbytown Supper Club someplace by you (think barn/open field/unfinished basement/pontoon boat) and then your lifelong dream of having me blog about you can finally come true!!!!

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One Response to “pop-up redux: the shelbytown supper club strikes again….”

  1. Linda samuels June 25, 2012 at 12:44 am #

    Hey Shelby. Enjoyed your blog today. Go for all of them. Do you want help? I would love to work with you guys Xxoo linda s.

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