it’s a facebook miracle!

1 Jun

So the other day I was perusing my Facebook feed and this thing popped up like “Do you use razors and like country music? If so enter our contest!” And since I do, in fact, use razors and like country music, I sent an email to the mysterious address and assumed that I’d win nothing except a couple coupons for shaving cream. Low and behold, on Tuesday night I received an email.

“This email confirms you and one guest for an exclusive concert with The Band Perry for Thursday night! (blah blah blah blah 21 and over blah blah blah) “

Was I skeptical that this was not actually a concert, and instead a way to lure innocent country fans to a room where they will be raped and murdered and that would be the way I would die? Yes, of course! I googled the shit out it and nothing was coming up, so I pretty much knew I’d be meeting my demise. Regardless, I wasn’t going alone so I took to Facebook to find a date. Naturally the most enthusiastic response came from my Jappy Lesbian Hipster Sister-Sister Missy, who apparently is a huge Band Perry fan and got ultra competitive, and even a little threatening, when it came to her shot at the ticket.

We met up outside the alleged venue and she had two things with her: Bethany her girlfriend, who was prepared to flash whatever (a smile mainly) to sneak in with us and a huge backpack filled with some sort of explosive device/a giant iPod dock. We charmed (snuck) Bethany in and a Purple Schick Wonderland exploded to life before us.

For instance:

1. There were purple pillows lining all the seating, acrylic clear lounge furniture and photographers all over the place.

2. Passed hors d’ouerves including flatbread with truffles kept flowing even AFTER the concert.

3. FREE BOOZE. They apologetically told us it was only wine or beer. Um. No apology needed, kind sirs.

4. A room that we could pretty much reach our hands out and touch one of the mullet brothers or the beautiful sister while they crooned “If I Die Young.”

5. Pretty flowers.

6. A goody bag with free razors, shaving cream, Band Perry CD and reusable shopping bag. Bethany scored like a dozen of them.


Have I ever been rewarded before so severely for shaving my legs and being addicted to social networking? Not so much.

Anyway, the moral of the story is that you should always trust your instinct, especially when that instinct has anything to do with bizarre Facebook ads and possible violent acts. I’d write more but I just fell asleep for an hour and frankly I’ve got to rest up for the next country concert tomorrow. Where I’ll be tailgating with a 9-year-old.


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