i need a xanax. (a fairy tale)

8 May

Once upon a time, in a land far far away, I wasn’t sitting at my computer at work at 11:15pm getting started on about 8 hours of work for a charity event that’s less than 48 hours away. I didn’t have really greasy skin and dirty hair, and I wasn’t confused as to why my skin and hair were acting up in this way, as I had showered just that morning. In this land, my desk wasn’t a fucking disaster covered with various forms of disorganization. Also in this land, the restaurant didn’t almost get broken into two nights ago, so I wasn’t scared of sitting at the said desk until the wee hours of the morn. Another thing in this once upon a time world is that I got to take my babygirl everywhere I went, so at some point before she marries a handsome prince, I can spend some time with her that doesn’t involve changing her morning diaper and feeding her a morning cup of milk. Also, I would have time to write a book, no less a blog post.

Alas, life isn’t a fairy tale. I’m too busy to write, but I hope that someday I will be able to wow you with my tales of secret sex parties in the attic of the restaurant and how many people today asked me if I’m pregnant.

In the meantime, watch “Girls” on HBO and tell me that I’m just as talented, if not moreso, than Lena Dunham and that I should probably write a very very very fancy novel and/or TV show and at the very least she should start following me on Twitter and Instagram.

And they all lived happily ever after.

The (sleep deprived) end.

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