sunshine week roundup!!

22 Apr

So tomorrow ends Sunshine Week, which I think went surprisingly well. I didn’t lose my shit about having to be nice, not even once! (OK maybe a couple times, but not publicly on here so it doesn’t count.) The truth is, I thought I was a minor supergenius before I invented The One Week Happiness Diet, but now I’m 100% positive that I’m a MAJOR supergenius. After 6 days of this wonder diet, I feel fab! The sun feels sunnier! My hair is incredible! And some of my clothes still fit me!! Here’s a rundown of the past couple days…

1. Eat Whatever – Yesterday I walked into Walgreens and bought a dark chocolate Kit Kat and nothing else. This is the first (and last) time I’ll ever do this. I felt so vulnerable, like I was buying condoms, a pregnancy test and whipped cream all in one pop. Today I voluntarily ate not one but TWO salads. It was so weird. Like my body was like “Listen up Shelby. I need some leafy greens or I’m going to give you back fat like you’ve never seen before. Get on it, bitch. There’s more to life than chocolate.” Or at least that’s what I think my body was saying.

2. Do Whatever – Today I climbed on a ladder to change some lightbulbs at the restaurant wearing a skirt.

3. No Complaining – I told Charlie how fat I am and he said “You’re not fat.” And I said “Charlie, I’ve gained weight.” And he said “You look fine.” And I said “Yeah, but you can tell that I’ve gained weight.” And like the great friend that he is, he said “Well you came up with this diet, Shelby. What the hell do you expect?”

4. No Bathing Suit Shopping – Yeah, it’s a good thing it’s not really summer yet. Because the One Week Happiness Diet is 100% not condusive to this particular activity.

5. Alternatively Exercise – Harry and I have taken up Zumba. Hahahahahahhahahhahaha just kidding. But we did move some tables and chairs together  in the party room tonight. Also did some hardcore grocery shopping for Hashbrown Harry’s. And today we went to an Eco Carnival [read: dreamy hippiefest] and I opted to not bring a stroller, so I chased and/or carried babygirl around for 2 hours while lifting large rocks to see what insects live underneath and playing the beanbag toss. Harry was very busy eating organic burritos and cane sugar sweetened grape soda so he was unable to assist in the carrying.

6. Take your Music Vitamins – Tonight I did a Sweet 16 at the restaurant, and joyfully had to make a playlist. She told me that she wanted Nicki Minaj and Drake type stuff. No Biebs, no Demi Lovato (I was sort of sad about that one, but who am I to argue). Found some great new tunes on the way! Check it out….

7. Enjoy the Results – How can I not be happy? This is my life….

the babygirl + the boy.

On my way home tonight I listened to a live Jimmy Buffett concert. He played one of my favorite songs and I just feel like the lyrics are great. Almost as good as his perennial favorite, “Why Don’t We Get Drunk and Screw?”

Oh, yesterday’s over my shoulder

So I can’t look back for too long

There’s just too much to see waiting in front of me

And I know that I just can’t go wrong.

With  these changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes

Nothing remains quite the same

With all of my running and all of my cunning

If I couldn’t laugh I just would go insane

If we couldn’t laugh we just would go insane

If we weren’t all crazy we would go insane.

Just in case you’re dying of curiosity, here’s what I’ve got on my plate over the next few days…

  • Making cakes
  • Frosting them
  • Making marshmallows
  • Eating them (fuck Sunshine Week, I’m keeping the Happiness Diet going until I need a motorized scooter at the mall)
  • Pacing and biting my fingernails until the HH t-shirts arrive.
  • Reviving my parents’ plants before they get back from their vacation so they don’t know that I’m totally neglecting them.

Isn’t it so strange? Apparently Hashbrown Harry’s is pretty popular and there are only like 7 seats left. Weird that my totally random and pointless blog post turned into like an actual thing that actual people actually want to actually attend.

In other news, to celebrate the final day of the 2nd ever Sunshine Week, I’ve got a great treat for you! No, it’s not pot brownies, get your head out of the gutter. It’s a very special post written by a very special guest.

Stay tuned!

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