family business for dummies.

5 Apr

Hashbrown Harry’s update! A self-described “awesome” friend of mine was helping me come up with libations for the pop-up (Will you be drinking a maple and bacon infused Manhattan at HH? Why yes you will!) and he sent me this fine fellow:

In conclusion, I would like to thank my friend for having strange strange strange taste in beer. You are truly one-of-a-kind, because I don’t know many guys who would feel comfortable drinking Bacon Maple Ale from a pretty pink bottle, but I bet you pull it off so gracefully. Oh, and if this stuff sucks I’m going to post a photo of you as well as your work email so that people can send hate mail or just throw things at you directly.


Something that I really don’t emphasize enough here in Shelbytown is how significant a role my dad plays in my life. For instance:

  1. He has fired me at least a dozen times. A baker’s dozen. Fortunately this hasn’t happened in awhile, because I’m like super important at the restaurnat. I think he’s come to realize that if he fires me, he will have to go to work more than once every 3 years.
  2. I am a spitting image of him, as is my Babygirl. I like to think of myself as a better looking version, but it really isn’t true. My hair is just longer and I wear more mascara.
  3. He monitors my blog so I don’t get sued by Thing 1, Thing 2 or any random Asians. As Harry equates it, “he’s the FCC and you’re Howard Stern.”
  4. He plays the song “Brand New Key” by Melanie (made famous in Boogie Nights) on the guitar and we sing. We’ve also choreographed a dance to it, which we debuted at my wedding and it was a smashing success to anyone who was smashed.

Most significantly, we work on our menu as a team. The awesome thing about this type of meeting is how much we get to argue and hate each other.  Here’s how a typical Menu Development Meeting goes:

  • I suggest (incredible) items that I saw once in La La Land
  • My dad rolls his eyes and says we should just bring back a menu item from one of our restaurants circa 1996
  • Harry agrees with my dad
  • I recommend we add some seasonally appropriate dishes, local produce and maybe even some Organic beef.
  • My dad calls me a crazy hippie and that our restaurant isn’t “that kind of restaurant.”
  • Harry tells me that we’ll bring in Organic meat as a special, which I know is a huge lie.
  • Depending on the time of the month, I either call my mom crying (She no longer attends. Smartest woman I know) or I come up with a more down-to-earth genius idea
  • My dad claims that he thought of the idea first, because he’s the older genius out of the 2 of us
  • Harry give my dad mad props for thinking of the idea
  • I roll my eyes at Harry (I’ve recently become extremely mature and no longer throw temper tantrums when I don’t get credit and glory when it’s due)
  • Harry makes me a chocolate milkshake

Two days later, my dad emails over the final draft of the menu, on which everything he thought of is present, and all my ideas have failed to make the cut.

Some of you may be reading this thinking that I must get really discouraged, but this routine has inspired me to try to find a happy medium between the Bohemian cloud on which I dream and the cheesy boring Island on which I live. At today’s meeting, I was equipped with some real crowd pleasers: frickles (fried pickles), frolives (figure it out), raw bar for the summer months, bacon roasted Brussels Sprouts as a side dish and a salad of mixed greens, grapefruit, goat cheese, caramelized sunflower seeds and a honey balsamic vinaigrette. Here’s how that went over.

Dad – I can’t eat grapefruit, it doesn’t mix well with my medication

Me – Other people might like grapefruit

Dad – I’m not saying I don’t like it. But you have to be careful with grapefruit

Harry – Yeah, I’m not sure about the grapefruit.

Me – Ok. Well what about the Brussels sprouts

Dad – I don’t think people like Brussels sprouts

Me – Do you like them?

Dad – Yes. But if you asked 100 people, most would say they don’t like them.

Me – 100 people read my blog. I’m going to ask them tonight.

Dad – I’m going home now.

Me – Ok. See you tomorrow at Passover!


So now it’s your turn to decide!!!!! 

Share this poll! It’s very important that we hear from the masses on this one. Life or death kind of shit….


2 Responses to “family business for dummies.”

  1. Kait April 6, 2012 at 6:43 pm #

    Just to let you know, I am a huge fan of anything that includes sunflower seeds…and honey. And one of the best “vegetables” I have ever eaten were Brussels in a bacon jam (I say vegetables because unlike others, I include bacon in the veggie fam). Never liked them before, now would never live without them. Tell Harry it’s time he sees how amazing your palate is.

    And Corn Pop milk is pretty fantastic…just saying.
    Or Honey Smacks. But maybe a little too sweet.

  2. Lindsey April 11, 2012 at 5:13 pm #

    I’d be in for a grapefruit inspired salad… maybe something with a ceviche flair?! (I say this because my child is half Latina and therefore I am very well versed in things like ceviche).

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