how to cry your way to a birthday.

2 Apr

One year ago today, I was packing a suitcase for a road trip up the coast of California with Harry, completely prepared to enter my 3rd decade ever-so-gracefully.

This afternoon, I zig-zagged through the racks at Victoria’s Secret hysterically crying over I’m not sure what, while Riley sprinkled a trail of dried bananas in our wake screaming “DUCKY, DUCKY DUCKY DUCKY DUCKY!” at the top of her lungs. When the salesgirl asked me how I’m doing today (because that’s her job, not because she cares) I told her “Well I’ve had better days, but what can you do?” I sniffled and pushed my fine feathered kid out of the store, on to more appropriate places for old old ladies like Talbot’s and Cache and Williams Sonoma and the “shapers” section of the Macy’s lingerie department.

It turns out that I’m really not handling being in my 30s” as well as I had imagined I would. I didn’t think I gave a shit at all, in fact. Until the waterworks today, which stopped for a little while because Austin changed Riley’s poopy diaper for the very first time (without even being forced against his will!) and I scored a free birthday gift at Sephora and found like the best lip stuff ever, but then it started again when Harry told me he wanted to watch Kentucky / Kansas instead of Smash and I was like “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME IT’S MY BIRTHDAY EVE YOU ASSHOLE MAN”and cried a river which floated me up to my bedroom with a 3 scoop Friendy’s sundae and a humongo pile of clothes that I pulled out searching for a totally adorbs outfit for tomorrow, because if I haven’t already mentioned it 8 times, tomorrow is my birthday. Once I calmed myself down and finished my sundae and remembered that I’ve watched like 100 tournament games this year and I actually cared about watching the game, I came back downstairs and reminded Harry that he has to treat me really special starting. Now. because my birthday is in like only a couple hours. He’s so lucky he has such a beautiful girl to fawn over for 24 full hours and possibly sit at the hair place with while she gets a trim and a blowout.

Anyway, after psychoanalyzing the questionable behavior I’ve exhibited today, I’ve come to the concusion that I’m just EXHAUSTED from my 30th year, which was the most tumultuous cluster of days you can ever ever ever even come close to imagine, (sorry you’ll have to wait for my autobiography) and my brain is simply flushing out all crap (unsubtle pun intended) and getting ready to start fresh. Truth be told, other than my totally incredible and adorable family (particularly Riley when she isn’t throwing banana chips at me), this blog has been the highlight of my year, so I truly appreciate you sharing it with me. It has given me this really hopeful outlook, and I’m like a total pessimist about EVERYTHING so it’s a pretty crazy feeling.

Last year I celebrated my 30th birthday at a really inspiring farm-to-table restaurant in Napa. This year I’m opening (and closing) one of my own.

No go make your goddamn reservations at Hashbrown Harry’s because it’s my birthday and you have to do whatever I say.


One Response to “how to cry your way to a birthday.”

  1. Barbara April 3, 2012 at 2:01 am #

    Happy Birthday eve….I hope tomorrow is a great day!

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