where restaurants come from.

15 Mar

After my incredible stroke of genius last night, I’ve decided to really open a new restaurant, and you are lucky enough to join me for the ride!

The very first thing you need to have when opening a restaurant is a concept. In this case, our concept is a late night breakfast place where you can get eggs benedict, many pancake varietals, a freshly rolled joint (oh please. It’s going to be legal soon, stop fighting it already) and a freshly squeezed mimosa-tini.

Next, you need a name. When you’re married to a guy named Harry, who is most likely going to be your business partner, you should probably make use of such a catchy moniker. We’re definitely going to do that. We’re going to stick with Hashbrown Harry’s, because it’s totally totally amazing.

The third thing (of no less importance than a name and a concept) is a really cool t-shirt.



Next, you need a location. Normally this requires scouting, demographic studies and negotiations up the wazoo. Not in this case! The very first Hashbrown Harry’s will be located in a lakefront location near my house that’s currently operating as a dive bar specializing in cougars and drug deals and ice cold Jaegermeister shots from one of those machines. The building is in disarray and is the perfect fixer upper for us!

Last but not least, you need a matching food truck. Ours will be in an old airstream trailer and we will call it “The Screwdriver.” As I mentioned last night, we’ll drive it anyplace our customers want us to and we’ll set up a little picnic table.

Well, my faithful readers, we’ve got a lot of work ahead of us! Are you getting psyched yet? Did you buy your t-shirt yet??!

Do you, by chance, have any money?



2 Responses to “where restaurants come from.”


  1. is that a pop-up restaurant or are you just happy to see me? « shelbytown - March 17, 2012

    […] which you should do yourself a favor and download) to tell him about the t-shirts I designed for Hashbrown Harry’s, (a fictional late-night farm-to-table breakfast place that I invented earlier this week, for all […]

  2. how to not score free grub at a restaurant. « shelbytown - March 19, 2012

    […] “I’m not trying to be a schnorror**. You know what that is? That’s not me.” And that was the end of that convo. I bid him adieu and skipped away to google what produce will be in season for the opening (and closing) night of Hashbrown Harry’s. […]

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