restaurants that don’t exist.

14 Mar

Me, Charlie and Nicole are trying to figure out where to go get a drink after work, and here’s what we’ve narrowed it down to:

  • Le Creme of le Crepes – A swanky place where you can get pancakes at night with really good ambiance and a fully stocked bar that isn’t located in Manhattan.
  • The Screwdriver – A food truck that sells pancakes and martinis and comes anyplace you are at any hour of the day and sets up a little picnic table.
  • Sunset Side Up – A breakfast place that’s only open at dinnertime.
  • Flapjack Flo’s – A really fun dive bar with a jukebox that has the new Neon Trees song on it and a multitude of pancake varietals.
  • Hashbrown Harry’s – A place you can go and get an artisan cocktail, a short stack, eggs benedict, a professionally rolled joint and fresh squeezed orange juice, open 24 hours a day.

Oddly enough, none of these places are in operation. However, we’re taking investors for the last one, because it’s the dream I never realized I had. It’s clearly the reason I married someone named Harry.

Here’s some stuff you can soon see at the restaurant (you know, the place that I don’t officially affiliate myself with so that I can do things like talk about Charlie dancing in his underwear)

If you do happen to know which restaurant I don’t affiliate myself with, check out our new uniforms! But don’t worry, we only make the guys wear them. We don’t want to be sexist.

Anyway, HOURS HAVE PASSED and we still don’t know where to get our damn pancakes. Maybe because all Charlie is thinking about is his dance moves and whether or not he can perform them fully clothed, and because Nicole is daydreaming about her split ends. Luckily I’m a Super Genius and I remembered that we are actually sitting INSIDE a restaurant, and I am a pancake MAVEN, so I fired up the griddle and shook up some martinis and screenprinted some “I Got Baked at Hashbrown Harry’s and All I Got Was this Lousy T-Shirt” ringer tees and once again, I SAVED THE DAY!

decisions, decisions, decisions....



4 Responses to “restaurants that don’t exist.”


  1. where restaurants come from. « shelbytown - March 15, 2012

    […] my incredible stroke of genius last night, I’ve decided to really open a new restaurant, and you are lucky enough to join me for the […]

  2. Hashbrown Harry’s roundup! « shelbytown - March 26, 2012

    […] which was born out of necessity because one night me, Charlie and Nicole couldn’t decide where to go. It is farm-to-table, which means that the food will be locally sourced when possible, and organic […]

  3. a late-night farm-to-table pop-up breakfast joint….. « hashbrown harry's, a late-night breakfast joint - March 27, 2012

    […] joint, which was born out of necessity because one night me and my friends couldn’t decide where to go. It is farm-to-table, which means that the food will be locally sourced when possible, and organic […]

  4. it’s real, and it’s spectacular! « shelbytown - April 1, 2012

    […] other news, Hashbrown Harry’s was once a restaurant that didn’t exist.  But like all other genius ”why didn’t I think of that” innovations of our […]

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