epic battle: texting vs. actual human interaction

7 Mar

I was sitting at the bar tonight with some regulars (vocab of the day: Regulars are customers who come to the restaurant frequently enough that we know their names, and occasionally enjoy their company. A true regular is an avid reader of my blog and constantly tells me how beautiful I am, but some regulars just eat the food). We were sharing secrets of what we use to clean our glasses (I use “a vodka napkin” which is a touch of rack vodka on a beverage napkin, Brittney the bartender uses gin, Marc the regular uses isopropyl alcohol (known to non-dorks as rubbing alcohol) and Michele uses nothing, she just squints through it.

One of Charlie’s friends was sitting a few seats away from us with her boyfriend, drinking beers and having some apps. I know her from going out a couple times, and she’s old like me (have we discussed that I am FAR older than Charlie? Like, decades older. Seven and a half years, to be exact). I got really confused though, because she didn’t say hi or make eye contact with me, so I convinced myself that it wasn’t her, just someone who happens to have the same face, hair and voice as her. “What a small world!” I thought. “Two girls with the same hair, face and voice in the same town! Wow! It’s a miracle!”

As you have learned about me, it’s really not my style to believe in things like miracles, (unless it’s Sunshine Week, which it’s not) so I grabbed my phone to check out Charlie’s Facebook page and do some stalking. At the same time as I was stalking, a text popped up on my screen. Guess who it was from.

Charlie (virtually): “Regina’s at the bar. She said you don’t recognize her.”

Me (virtually): “I totally do. She’s not saying hi.”

Me (virtually): “I do so recognize you.”

Me (in an actual voice, after I realized that I texted Regina instead of talking to her): “I do so recognize you.”

Regina: “I said hi and you didn’t hear me.”

Charlie (virtually): “She said hi n you didn’t hear her”

I made fun of Regina for texting Charlie instead of just saying hi louder (did she need to know that I was trying to find photos of her on Facebook to make sure it was really her before I decided to say hi? No, she didn’t need to know) and we had a nice convo, talked a little smack about Charlie and his annoying habit of going to all of his classes all the time instead of playing hooky on sunny days and that was that.

The moral of the story is that actual human interaction no longer exists without texting, so get an unlimited plan for sure.


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