a post about nothing.

26 Feb

I went to Target today to grab some travel size anti-wrinkle cream and sunscreen and dry shampoo for Florida and lust after the impressive friendship bracelet selection. (Vocab of the day: A cross between baby powder and hairspray, dry shampoo makes it ok to not shower more than 4 times a week. I mean wash your hair.) By the time I approached the cashier I had an overflowing basket of cardigans, Kinky Curly hair stuff that’s really made for black people based on the website but I still like it and the March issue of every magazine in the store.

Me: Do you think it’s possible to spend less than $50 here?

Cashier (blank stare): …

Me: I was really trying to spend less than $50 today. I really don’t think it’s possible.

Cashier: Well you can apply for a Target card and save 5%.

Me (after crunching numbers in my head): Actually, it would sill be over $50.

Cashier: Oh, I guess that’s true.

Me: Maybe I shouldn’t have bought those prenatal vitamins considering I’m not pregnant.

Cashier: So why are you buying them?

Me: Because if I decide to get pregnant I’ll have them already.

Cashier: Here’s your receipt.

I really bought the vitamins because my nails keep breaking and my hair is super flat lately. When I was pregnant my hair looked ridiculously fly every single second of every single day. So I bought them to get a good hair day and long-lasting manicure, not to feed my fetus proper nutrients. So don’t get any ideas.

The moral of the story is: If you don’t take a shopping basket you won’t fill it up.

.

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