no one will ever compair….

22 Feb

… to my leopard Michael Kors heels that have won more compliments than any other aspect of me combined, including my dreamy blue eyes (but maybe not including my beachy virgin hair). A more practical work shoe simply doesn’t exist, and building an incredible outfit around them is as simple as black, black, black (tights, skirt, long sleeve tee). The shoes make my life simple and outstanding.

R.I.P. my lovelies...

But the leopards are growing old. Their spots are fading. My toe is peeping through the front and they are not peep toe shoes. (See here for more information about shoe needs as a restaurant owner, if you haven’t already done so). I fear they might disintegrate while I’m seating a table of women who are coincidentally fawning over my feet and my face will turn redder than my heels (from being stabbed by the rickety old shoe, of course).

It is for these reasons that I decided it’s time for some new shoes. This may not be a biggie to some of you. But for me buying shoes gives me hives. When I told my mom that I’m blogging about my shoes tonight, she got confused and shouted “But I thought it’s Sunshine Week!” That pretty much sums up my relationship with footwear – less than smiley. Alas, the replacement was inevitable, and so I trekked to the lovely DSW (I’d call it my own personal hell if I weren’t trying to be super positive this week) in search of a pair of black high heels with perhaps a little buckle or something mildly blingy to replace my lovelies and carry me well into spring/summer/fall/next winter.

Please enjoy the following results of a quite nerve-wracking day for me:

  • SNAKE –  These would be ideal work shoes if the heel weren’t a stiletto. Usually I justify these purchases by saying that the heel is so teeny tiny that it won’t get stuck in the kitchen mats, and then cursing incessantly every time I wear them and trip on my way to the dirty linen bin.

  • ZEBRA – Finding a sensible work shoe is no easy task. These puppies have heels wrapped in some sort of hemp-y rope that are literally going to last no more than 3 hours in the restaurant. Luckily I’m a crafty gal with a glue gun and black spray paint, so I should be able to increase their shelf life by at least 3 days.

  • AFRICAN TRIBAL WOMAN – These are not actually made of an African tribal woman, they just look like something she might wear while she carries a basket of fruit on her head. Seeing as I scored so majorly on shoesies, I photographed these in secret so that Harry wouldn’t get suspicious that I blew all our Disney souvenir money on footwear. I wore them to the children’s museum the other day he asked me if they were new. “Oh, these ole things?” I giggled, and shuffled away to the African Drum Room with Riley.

 

Even though none of these shoes are black, or remotely close to black, my shoe jungle feels pretty complete. Perhaps I’ll meet a fairy shoemaker who will put my dear Leopards back together again and we can all live happily ever after.

BLOGGER’S NOTE: I meant to spell compare wrong. It’s supposed to be funny, so refrain from commenting on my poor grammar.

 

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