let me eat cake!

8 Feb

Today I reaped a huge benefit of our new party room by purchasing two totally high quality-looking Tory Burch bags from a vendor who came to sell costume jewelry and shit to 30 Jewish senior citizens who were celebrating Tu B’Shevat and complaining that it was too hot and/or cold for 3 hours straight. The metal logos on the bags were definitely recycled from a pair of ballet flats, but she gave me a senior citizen’s discount so I couldn’t resist. Luckily I am physically unable to carry a knockoff without telling anyone who will listen that it’s a fake, so it doesn’t really matter if my supple new leather tote smells faintly of feet.

After that super awesome moment, my day went downhill for awhile, but then I got the greatest call that the spouse of a chef can possibly receive.

“The dessert company dropped off a box of samples.”

The restaurant sample box is a coveted treasure among sugarheads such as myself. In fact, it is the #1 reason i chose to join the family business. It’s basically a full cake, composed of 12-16 assorted slices. So far Harry has mentioned a pecan something-or-other and a 7 layer cheesecake. I’d go on all night about the flavors that I’m most looking forward to, or how red velvet cake is ridiculously overrated, or that I don’t like coffee so it get really pissed when they have more than one piece of mocha cake, or that if anybody had the audacity to put a fork to MY treat I will personally stab them in the hand with their utensil, but frankly I’m sitting on the front porch eagerly anticipating Harry (or rather, what’s in Harry’s hand) and it’s snowing and I’m really cold.

I’ll report on the results tomorrow, as long as I recover from the sugar coma that I’m moments away from putting myself in.


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